2013年9月8日星期日

The Modern Golf Swing

Up for grabs is the opportunity to take full advantage of today's latest technology which can analyze the swinging of a golf club frame by frame, millimeter by millimeter and apply this modern wizardry to our golf swings!

Our contemporary golf industry has an infinite array of high tech, faster than a speeding bullet, space age equipment designed to "break down" the swings of our super star players. Thanks to these technocrats, who do all the work and hand us the results, we are able to cut and paste the information directly to our own golf swings! Only a Neanderthal would dig a golf swing out of the dirt like the out of date "old timers" did. With today's electronic gadgetry at our beck and call, why do "IT" the hard way?

The point of impact is the intersection at which the "accident" takes place, preciously when and where the head of a golf club slams into the unsuspecting dimpled sphere sitting patiently on a wooden pedestal! That's where the sperm and the egg embrace.

Stop the camera at that lightening fast blur and steal all we can from that dash of time reaping the bag full of priceless rare jewels. At long last the mysteries of the gifted are shared with we less privileged mortal souls...i.e. tips to transform our inept golf swings into incredible ball crushing machinery. The rabbit is pulled from the magician's hat. We now know how much the golfers knee flexes at that mini-moment, right and left elbow shape, spine torque, wrist flex, grip pressure, lower to upper body X-factor, shoulder ratio and it's relationship to hard or soft spikes, the reaction of titanium versus platinum heads, and fiber strands versus cold rolled steel shafts!

Today's designer swings, single axle, double clutching, rubber burnin', nitro fuel powered un -natural golf swings are the brain child of the golf industry more specifically the teaching golf instructor, the magazine publisher, the Golf Channel, the carnivalbarker and the vizored chap with the pencil thin mustache and Chesterfield cigarette running the shell game. So brazen, they rob without a mask and are oblivious to the rolling security cameras. This brain laundering approach makes lots of folks.....lots of wampum.

If you've been sucker punched into falling for their lunacy, shame on you, enjoy your stay in no-mans land and get set to havin' yo' butt whopped by those using common sense.

The significant time period that will go down in history should, hereafter, be referred to as the Golden Age of The Golf Swing... before computers, high speed film and all the other gadgets that were NEVER used by the classic swingers and absolutely do NOT apply to how the golf swing truly functions. For you see, Mr.Common Sense, the golf swing is way too quick for us mortals to effect the changes the Golf Industry Thieves are pitching at us. They continue using their marketing approach because "we buy it." "The rich get rich and the poor golfer gets poorer, in the meantime, in between time "Ain't they got Fun? and money to burn!"

Sam Snead, when asked how he found his elegant, graceful, fabulous golf swing replied, "It's just like hitting a rock with a stick." Sam didn't know a computer from a fishing pole but he finished in 1st place 185 times, 2nd place 63 times and 3rd place 54 times. Sam finished in the top ten 358 times and in the top twenty-five 473 times. In 1954, he won his third and final Masters after defeating Ben Hogan in a memorable 18 hole playoff, and in 1959 he shot a world record 59 in a USGA sanctioned golf tournament. Sam didn't fall for the complicated version of the golf swing... how 'bout you?

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